me
carry
carry me
carry me along
carry me along oh
carry me along oh long
carry me along oh long long
carry me along oh long long long
carry me along oh long long long long
carry me along oh long long long long long
carry me along oh long long long long long road
me
carry
carry me
me carry me
me carry me along
along me carry me along
along me carry me along oh
oh along me carry me along oh
oh along me carry me along oh long
long oh along me carry me along oh long
long oh along me carry me along oh long long
long long oh along me carry me along oh long long
long long oh along me carry me along oh long long long
long long long oh along me carry me along oh long long long
long long long oh along me carry me along oh long long long long
long long long long oh along me carry me along oh long long long long
long long long long oh along me carry me along oh long long long long long
long long long long long oh along me carry me along oh long long long long long
long long long long long oh along me carry me along oh long long long long long road
road long long long long long oh along me carry me along oh long long long long long road
word that I use
words that I misuse
words that I make
words that I mistake
neither here nor there
you are here now
and you ask yourself should I go there ?
so you go there
you are there now
and you ask yourself should I be here ?
LLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVAAAAAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRR
LLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVAAAMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRR
the pain
feel the pain
the pain of feeling
the pain of feeling nothing
painful feeling
feel the pain
the pain
the pain
feel the pain
the pain of belonging
the pain of longing
painful feeling
feel the pain
the pain
the pain
feel the pain
the pain of feeling
the pain of feeling nothing
the pain of not belonging
the pain of longing
painful feeling
feel the pain
the pain
one lonely breath
I feel every day lonely
I feel every lonely day
I feel lonely every day
I lonely feel every day
Lonely I feel everyday
It was Saturday of a bank holiday week end.
we met up after 7 years. there had been a short fling, wrong timing.
we spent the day together, then the evening then….... the inevitable…..right timing…... amasing…..
he meant it…. I meant it….
In the morning I said; what have we done ? this is wrong !!!
In the morning he said; what have we done ? this is wrong. I have never done that to her. She is coming back tomorrow…...Why hurting her ? I will not tell her…... shall we spend the day together ?
No I said reluctantly, go home now
that night all alone the phone rings; Hell o Darling….. it was so wonderful. so magical…. you really are the woman of my dreams… and please do not feel guilty.. it was meant to happen…. and you know I feel so alone now…....
yes I replied…... Life is a lonely journey…..
then he said we are friends aren’ t we? can I phone you sometimes ?
SCRIPT 2
Sex is in the air, sex in the mind, sex is everywhere.
I am so scared to go to my parents for Christmas, my brother watches porno films all day long; it creates this kind of tension you know ….. and this rewind button on the remote I cant help using it, to watch all these good bits again and again and again and again….. I cant help it.
I dont want to go home for christmas. I cant face it.
It has been 6 years since I have done anything…. you know…... but it is good, I rechannel my energies. it is like going to Soho it stimulates me. All these images hitting my retina they quickly transform into pure energy. That is why I go so often.
One day a dark thought occured to me while I was watching my father watching TV; I shall never never do it again and I will not allow anybody else either. and at 21 I decided to be unemployed for the rest of my life. All that because one day I looked into a mirror and I saw nothing, nothing at all.
you fench girls you understand these kind of things that ‘s why I’ m telling you all that.
and you know when the man came in the movie it was more than a cupful.
Do you really understand everything I say ? every word ? are you sure ?
After all I dont know anything about your intellectual capacity ?
wanker !
kill me and watch me die
love me and watch me die
why did it happen ?
can it happen again ?
quelle empreinte aurais je laisse sur cette ville mystere.
ne suis je que poussiere ?
ACTION
and the body replied
REFLECTION
so the head said to the body
REFLECTION
and the body replied
DETACHMENT
He said to her carry me
and she replied carry me
He said to her feed me
and she replied touch me
she said to him resist me
and he replied try me
she said to him shield me
and he replied shield me too
sometimes I watch heplessly life passing me by.
DIALOGUE between the head and the body
head normal
body italic
........ silence
The head said to the body…......... ” carry me “
and the body replied…......................... “carry me”
” use me “
........................” feed me ”.
” shield me “
........................” risk me ”.
” touch me “
.......................” dream me ”.
” reflect me “
.......................” enter me ”.
” help me “
....................... ” resist me ”.
” remove me “
.......................” free me ”.
in between each line 10 seconds
One afternoon around 3pm I met a broken fish on a beach in Barcelona
I covered it with my shadow while wondering
what a terrible fate
I wonder what will be mine.
Doing it faking it
doing it faking it
communicate, educate
fabricate, emulate
move your ass
Bond by your dreams
Seconds, minutes, hours, days,
weeks, months, years decades
passing by…....
close your mouth
and move your ass
At the beginning there was the words
then there was the hands
the hands of the creator the hands of the created
the hands that do the hands that undo.
comparisons were made
meanings were found
and abandoned until
the hands found their role
empty vessels floating
above a sea of words
giant yet vulnerable.
This is not the end
it never is, remember
there was the words
then there was the hands
the hands that chose the words
the hands that held the words
the hands that dropped the words
their need to touch you to touch me.
The words became phrases
the phrases were held in books
the hands held the books
for you and me to read
Connections were made
meanings were found
we were touched we were involved.
New words were introduced
new stories were suggested.
This is not the end it never is.
This is where I stop and you begin.
First session
Our first meeting was postponed for one week – he had the flu – I was a human fountain for 2 days, being unwillingly and violently purged from every exit possible.
No choice, somehow it felt like a bad omen but we didn’ t have the choice.
So here we were, one cold and wet Thursday in January, in my studio, ready for …......ready for …....for….ready for…..ready for our first session.
Needless to say I was nervous. What would happen ? would anything happen ? would anyhing come out of my throat ?
I had decided the day before not to plan or structure anything and above all not to expect anything.
anyway what could I expect ? after a few days of exercising my cords and a few attempts at overtones; I must admit I didn’t think anybody else but me could hear the faint harmonics I painfully managed to produce.
So here we were facing each other….almost….a few pieces of equipment seperating us.
The dreaded moment; you’re on I have pressed record…....
My throat felt suddenly very tight; I barely managed to articulate; what shall I do? what shall I say ? ....I laughed nervously….feeling quite embarassed..
he looked at me..not sure what he was thinking..didn’ t really want to know frankly.
at least one minute of silence….time to think….to pull myself together….He didn’ t seem to mind…
vowell I thought…. pure tones….. u o a e I this is it let us chant all the vowels one after the other; let them resonate through my whole body. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
that will give me something to do…structure….structure…..I was safe again it will be relaxing too….if anything else….
uuuuuuoooooaaaaaaaeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiii
it felt good very good…..it was good very good…surprinsingly powerful…..thing to do…..if not to listen too….well at least not yet.
some very strange sounds….quite promising and inspiring
what would happen if you layered all the vowels/tones together. which one will overcome the other what is uuu+oooooo+aaaaa+eeeeeeee+iiiiiiiiiii
a certain association with light; doesn’ t the whole spectrum add up to white and with colors too; all the primary colors mixed together gives you a kind of shity brown.
what would happen to all the vowels together.
Now imagine a tonal landscape. walkink from one uuuu to one aaaaaa to one eeeeee and back to aaaaaaa. what would be the point of pure harmony where one could experience all the vowels equally.
Second session
Tomorrow we are meeting up for the 3rd time for our third session. And already I have broken my routine . It really pisses me off. I should have a diary text ready to be read and recorded, a sum up of our second session, a way to keep track of time and of progress.And I have nothing. Actually by the time I read this all the above will not make sense.
I am reading this now and it doesn’ t make any sense. so let us speak in the present tense .
I do not feel quite ready for this . 4 weeks is a lot time. But it is amasing how much time one can waste in this and that and more of that. my car died on me. had to find a new bargain, mission accomplished I aM the proud owner of a red ford escort F reg. One exhibition fell through or almost has, bloody annoying I was really looking forward to it. cooled off the dialogue with L from the gallery, doesn’ t feel right somehow….. and haven’ t completely recovered from his pre christmas comment; a certain lack of humour in my work , needed a lighter approach… there might be some truth in there….. still not the right thing to say somehow. ....... created this kind of power relationship that I thought we had avoided…....
domestic troubes. being the landlady of an indian princess in a brixton council flat is bound to create some tension. butr I will not give in and submit or surrounder to her silent demands. neither will I take it upon myself to show her what working life is about. soon she will be back in her privileged and secure bombay home where each of her needs and fancies will be caterd for, leaving her all the energy and mental space to think about her next piece of political / conceptual art.
It makes you wonder doesn’ t it ?
I do sound a little bit bitter and envious, ....... well a part of me is.
Now where were we ? yes yes. pain pain pain and screams screams and more screams….... real pathos real pathetic pathos ..and somehow hilarious in its pathos if it makes sense…...a few lonely breaths ….a few good tones and vowels sound. the voice is definetely getting stronger and more confident. but still a long way to go…... still a tiny bit self conscious about letting go. still concerned about the raw quality of the outcome. will I ever be brave enough to make any of it public. I will have to I must…. Andy please make sure I do.
A lot of improvement needed but definite potential. And it is bloody good fun to do and that is precious to me. it is so easy for me to become too serious…
well well well. a few additions for today. a tiny plastiky browny yamaha keaboard, acquired at a car boot sale for £2 and a mouth organ or what is it called something like a keyboard that you blow into. not too sure what to do with them. but managed to make a few noises, repetitive noises of course.
So let us get on with it and see where this noisy boat will lead us.
also listened to some avant garde records from the late 60’ s and 70’ s. thank you Andy…
not much I like but very interesting to see what has been already done around the voice. and a few great things also…..
10 secs
The other day I was having a cup of tea, lost in my own thoughts, when suddenly I heard the bell rang. ( coucou coucou coucou )
15 secs
- Please do sit down
person come into frame sits down and takes cup of tea from the table
15 secs
The other day I was having a cup of tea, lost in my own thoughts, when suddenly I heard the bell rang. ( coucou coucou coucou )
15 secs
- Please do sit down
person come into frame sits down and takes cup of tea from the table
15 secs
The other day I was having a cup of tea, lost in my own thoughts, when suddenly I heard the bell rang. ( coucou coucou coucou )
15 secs
- Please do sit down
person come into frame sits down and takes cup of tea from the table
20 secs
- It is good to see you
person looks up to the left of camera
20 secs
- Now are are you ?
person looks into the camera
20 secs
- It has been a long time
person turns around and look at herself in mirror
20 secs
- What have you been up to ?
person looks at camera through mirror
20 secs
- how about a drink ? tea coffee ?
person comes back and sits down and looks down
20 secs
The other day I was having a cup of tea, lost in my own thoughts, when I heard the bell rang.
( coucou coucou coucou )
20 secs
- Please do sit down
person come into frame sits down, puts handbag down and looks down. – will it happen again ?
10 secs
- It is good to see you
person looks up to the left of camera – please do sit down
10 secs
- Now how are you ?
person looks into the camera – it is good to see you
10secs
- It has been a long time
person turns around and look at herself in mirror – now how are you ?
10 secs
- What have you been up to ?
person looks at camera through mirror – it has been a long time
10secs
how about a drink ? tea coffee ?
person comes back and sits down and looks down – what have you been up to ?
10 secs
The other day I was having a cup of tea, lost in my own thoughts, when I heard the bell rang.
( coucou coucou coucou )
10 secs
- Please do sit down
person come into frame sits down and looks down. how about a drink tea
or coffee ?
10 secs
It is good to see you
person looks up to the left of camera – The other day I was having a cup of tea, lost in my own thoughts, when I heard the bell rang.
10 secs
- how are you ?
person looks into the camera – please do sit down
5 secs
- It has been a long time
person turns around and look at herself in mirror- it is good to see you
5 secs
- What have you been up to ?
person looks at camera through mirror – now how are you
5 secs
- how about a drink ? tea coffee ?
person comes back and sits down and looks down – it has been a long time
5 secs
The other day I was having a cup of tea, lost in my own thoughts, when I heard the bell rang.
( coucou coucou coucou )
5 secs
- Please do sit down
person come into frame sits down and looks down. what have you been
up to ?
5 secs
It is good to see you
person looks up to the left of camera – how about a drink, tea, coffee?
5 secs
- Now how are you ?
person looks into the camera while taking mirror – The other day I was having a cup of tea,
5 secs
person turns around and look at herself in mirror- lost in my own thoughts,
5 secs
when suddenly I heard the bell rang.
person gets up takes bag and goes out of frame
5 secs
20 secs
( coucou coucou coucou )
I imagine sweet fresh
and tender flesh.
Then I let it out
..................
............
Pandora’ s Perspiration
Insidious Irresistible
Nauseous Nostalgia
Kinky Kick
Flesh
plump flesh
musty plump flesh
sweaty musty plump flesh
sweaty musty mature plump flesh
musty mature plump flesh
musty mature flesh
musty flesh
flesh
Post coital Paradise
Intoxicating Illusion
Naughty Nectar
Kinky Kyrie eleison
Pink-Ness No. 6
TIME
AND
LANGUAGE
I have got the space
I have got the time
and
I have got language.
What do I do now ?
I take time to explore language
I take language to measure time
I take time to measure space.
just give me some space.
and a bit of time.
wait and see
Time
time passing
I give you time
give me your time
give me time
to live
my time to live
time and space
my space and my time
give me time to find my space
and I shall give you space to find time
for me